


Soundtrack: Clexa: X Ambassadors, Unsteady

by River_Lex



Series: Soundtrack: Clexa [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Modern Setting, soundtrack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 23:12:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7408927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_Lex/pseuds/River_Lex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hold<br/>Hold on<br/>Hold on to me<br/>'Cause I'm a little unsteady"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soundtrack: Clexa: X Ambassadors, Unsteady

“Clarke.” The voice pierced through Clarke's sleepy haze. She had been almost asleep but at the sound of that voice, she was snapped awake. 

“Lexa?” she asked, confused and worried. Lexa hadn't spoken to her for months. Something had to be wrong. 

“Clarke. Where are you?” her voice was slurred and Clarke knew she had to have been drinking. 

“I'm at home, Lexa. Where are you?” she asked, her voice quiet as if she was about to break. 

“I'm at a bar. Clarke, I miss you. I'm sorry.” There were tears in her voice now. Clarke knew how drunk Lexa had to be, to have not only called Clarke, but to call her crying. Lexa never cried. 

“Yeah, I miss you too, Lexa,” Clarke confessed, comforted in the knowledge that Lexa would have no recollection of this conversation in the morning when she awoke. Still, she tried not to let her emotions show. Lexa had, after all, been the one to break it off. 

“Clarke, I want to see you. I miss your face,” Lexa mumbled and Clarke barely heard her. 

“Lexa, who are you with?” Clarke asked, hoping that the woman who she still loved, no matter what, was in good hands. 

“Nobody. I came here alone,” was the defeated reply. “I'm always alone now, Clarke.”

Clarke tried not to let her heart break, failing at impressive levels. She turned the words over in her mouth before letting them out, knowing what a bad idea this was even before she suggested it. 

“Lexa, do you need me to come get you?”

The line was silent for a moment before, “Clarke, I could never ask you to do that. But I really, really want to see your face again.”

Clarke knew that Future Clarke would hate Present Clarke but she bit her cheek and said, “Just send me the address. I'll be there shortly.” 

She tried to ignore the way her already-broken heart crumbled at Lexa's drunken, “Thank you, Clarke. I love you.”

~~

Clarke entered the bar, finding Lexa sitting at the counter, her head in her hands. 

“Come on, drunkie. Let's get you home,” she said quietly, nudging Lexa's shoulder. 

When Lexa felt the contact she turned around and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she slurred, “Clarke. I knew you'd come. You've always been there for me.”

As Clarke pulled her away from the bar with a quiet, “Time to go, Lex,” she tried not to let the tears that were pressing at the back of her eyes make their way out. 

She got Lexa into the passenger seat of her car. She had always made a point of not letting Lexa drink when they had been dating; Lexa had always gotten sad and distant when she was drunk. Now was no different, even after they had broken up months ago. Lexa was silent in the seat and Clarke had to look over every few minutes just to make sure she was still breathing. 

While they drove (the drive back to Lexa's was longer than Clarke had anticipated) Lexa broke the long-standing silence. 

“Why doesn't it get easier, Clarke?” she asked, looking not at Clarke but out her window. 

“I don't know,” was Clarke's choked reply. 

“I thought being apart would be better. I thought you could be less stressed and I could focus on my work. I thought I would stop loving you eventually. But I never do. I just keep missing you more and more.” 

Clarke knew how much Lexa would regret this in the morning. She hoped, for the other woman's sake, that she wouldn't remember it. 

When they got to Lexa's apartment Clarke walked her up the three flights of stairs, her arm around Lexa's waist. She had to admit to herself that she had missed that close comfort so much that it almost hurt to have it back, knowing it wasn't hers to keep. 

She brought Lexa into her apartment, which was exactly how it had been the last time she was there, back when they were both happy. Her eyes clouded with all of the memories surrounding her but she was brought back to reality by an intoxicated Lexa dragging her down onto her bed. 

“Please stay with me,” Lexa whispered into Clarke's neck, and oh, how tempting it was. But she knew that Lexa would only be regretful and embarrassed in the morning so she decided it was best for both of them if she left. 

“I would love to stay with you. But I can't,” she said quietly as she pulled herself from Lexa's grasp. She ignored Lexa's whine of protest which bordered on a sob, instead going to the bathroom and grabbing a bottle of asprin and a glass of water, which she left on Lexa's bedside table. 

She drove home alone, finally letting out the tears she had been holding in since hearing Lexa's voice. 

Why doesn't it get easier?


End file.
